100 Hours

In roughly 100 hours, I should completely be finished with the USC application and have submitted it. How freaked out should I be?

It all started with a dream, remember? I was very confused when I started this blog and although I haven't updated it as often as I hoped, I'm still here. Not so much confused but very scared.

In 4 days, I will be driving to USC to personally submit my supplemental application. I keep rewriting my essays, trying to polish them to perfection. I keep reading about students who have transfered and can't help but notice how great their GPAs are compared to mine. I keep thinking to myself, "No matter how great my essay is, it can always be better." In just a few days, everything will come to an end. Sure, I still have to finish my application for Chapman and New York University but USC's was the most time consuming. I've been treating each application as if it's my first choice and for once, I feel as if USC truly is. I'll be faced with quite a dilemma if I am accepted to both USC and Chapman.

In the end, I am truly terrified. I feel like my application is going to get lost in a pool of better educated invididuals. Did I use enough "big" words? Is my essay descriptive enough? The real question is: Does it matter? I am a student who wants to go to school and study. I am willing to pay and I am promising to be a good boy! Yet, hundreds of students are rejected every year. Is it fair? I want to get accepted as badly as everybody else and I think, ultimately, your writing has to show that.

Maybe if you want it bad enough, they'll let you slide. I mean, come on. Who cares what my favorite food is? I want to get an education; I'm not hungry!

Giving In

As the deadline for the application nears, I am trying my best to keep calm.

I plan on submitting the School of Cinematic Arts application in person, next week. I have completed first drafts of all my essays and continue to polish them every day. I have loads of paper waiting to be reviewed; letters of recommendation, transcripts, evaluations, etc.

I didn't realize how difficult it would be to write a personal statement or essay. It's not difficult in the sense that I don't know how to write well, the problem is telling both an appealing story yet making it sound good for them.

There's roughly a week left until I feel that huge sigh of relief. I can't help but feel like Jon Favreau -- Obama's senior speechwriter -- who spends his time working from a Starbucks. In my case, I'm constantly revising my writing in a library which used to be a church. I'm here nearly every day and have grown a beard since I started.

Yet I remain confident.

Library

I've decided to work on my applications for school at Woodbury's library. It's farily quiet and I have an entire table at the far end of the library to work. Nobody around me... and I feel like I'm all alone.

This library used to be a church so it's got a bit of a feel to it. Tomorrow, I'll be working out of the library at Los Angeles City College. I've made some progress but I'm scaring myself by looking at the calendar every day. I'm going to put in a request for my high school and college transcripts tomorrow.

Back to work.

State of Worry

Both of my films for the cinema course I took this past semester were nominated by students for the end-of-semester screening. Since then, I've been sick plenty and the due dates for my applications near. USC's application is due February 1 and I am officially underway.

I admit, I am very terrified because of the pressures from these applications. Mary started classes at Woodbury today, so I am technically the only one without school. I am anxious to send these in but I don't think I'll have a big relief when they're done. Instead, I'll be panicking in case something goes wrong and I have nowhere to go in Fall.

This is literally the worst activity I could engage in. It's all or nothing.